


cutscene

by dominopes



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, after the war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 08:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18192005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dominopes/pseuds/dominopes
Summary: They aren't the same - But they want to be.





	cutscene

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr prompt from way back when

        In the aftermath of the war, when the Horde is dismantled and the buildings Adora had once called home are crushed to dust, it’s rare to get a moment to yourself. All of Etheria is bumbling around, busier than ever in their efforts to rebuild everything the Horde destroyed.

 

    It’s so busy Adora doesn’t get the chance to talk to Catra.

 

    They see each other in passing, Catra usually tailing Entrapta, her arms full of gadgets and tools, while Glimmer leads Adora to an area in desperate need of She-Ra.

 

    Not once does Catra so much as glance in Adora’s direction.

 

    As far as she knows, Catra doesn’t even _ask_ after her and it stings just a little. It’s strange to think that Catra is farther away from Adora now than she’d been when they were still fighting on opposite sides.

 

    It goes on like this for weeks, Adora with too much time on her hands to seek Catra out and Catra acting like Adora doesn’t exist, until finally, something gives.

 

    It happens late at night, when Adora just can’t seem to fall asleep and resolves to wander around until she tires herself out, her feet taking her far outside the castle, moving almost as if they have a mind of their own. They take her to Catra, sitting under moonlight, her back to Adora.

 

    Adora freezes in place when she spots her, suddenly too anxious to actually approach her, even though she’s been wanting to since the end of the war. Catra doesn’t want to talk to her, she assumes. If she did, she would have sought her out weeks ago but she didn’t, opting to hide out in Entrapta’s lab instead.

 

    She turns around to leave, heart heavy, when she hears, “Hey Adora.”

 

    Adora turns to see that Catra hasn’t moved an inch, heart skipping a beat when she realizes she hadn’t even needed to look to know that Adora was there.

 

    Feeling braver, she steps closer, settling down on the grass next to Catra. She clears her throat before she speaks, “Hey,” and then, “What are you doing out here?”

 

    “Mm, just hanging out. I couldn’t sleep.”

 

    “Neither could I.”

 

    They fall into companionable silence after that, comfortable in a way they shouldn’t be after all this time apart. Adora wishes it could be like this all the time, misses how easy it used to be with Catra.

 

    “Thank you,” Adora whispers, breaking the silence, and when she turns to gauge Catra’s reaction, she’s met with confusion.

 

    “Uh, for what?”

 

    Adora worries her lower lip, wringing her hands together, “For – For joining the rebellion when you did. For rallying Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle, and everyone. You really turned the tide.”

 

    Catra’s face darkens. “I didn’t do it for you.”

 

    “I know, just-”

 

    “No,” Catra snaps, cutting Adora off, “I don’t think you do. My life doesn’t revolve around you, Adora. Not anymore.”

 

    Mouth clamped shut in shock, all Adora can do is stare stupidly at the side of Catra’s face, effectively silenced while her best friend – ex best friend? Love of her life? - unloads everything she’d been holding in for the past decade, the words coming out so fast Adora struggles to catch all of it.

 

    It’s amazing and a little heartbreaking how much Catra remembers, so many memories she’d clearly clung to and revisited frequently, like a safety blanket kept from babyhood. Stories of Shadow Weaver and her cruelty, the way she’d used Catra as an emotional punching bag, lashed out at her so many times that, if Catra ever felt like counting every incident out, she’d need both hands and feet to get started. Promises Adora had made to Catra that turned out to be empty, nothing but pretty words.

 

    “It doesn’t matter what they do to us,” Catra mumbles in a mocking imitation of Adora’s voice, “We look out for each other.”

 

    “You’re the one that said that,” Adora tries to argue, not wanting to believe that she’d forget something that was obviously very important to Catra, “Not me.”

 

    “It _was_ you. When we were small,” Catra bites back, “Then we got older and you bailed-”

 

    “Because it was the right thing to do-”

 

    “ _I know that!”_ snaps Catra, irritated. She huffs, eyes sliding shut. “I know that. It’s just… You really thought the Horde was good. You saw how they treated me and you still thought they were good. Two strangers changed your mind after, what, an _hour_ together? You became _She-Ra_ for them and all I got was a promise you can’t even remember making.”

 

    Adora doesn’t say anything to that, can’t think of what to say, not right away. It almost feels like there’s nothing to say, no arguing against what Catra’s said because it’s true. No matter how Adora or anyone else spins it, it’s true and she hates herself for it. Hates that she can’t make it right, not now, maybe not ever.

 

    But she still tries, because it’s Catra and she’s left her alone for far too long.

 

    “I’m sorry,” she starts, voice already cracking, “I’m sorry that….that I didn’t keep my promise. I’m sorry that I don’t remember making it in the first place. I’m sorry that I didn’t look out for you – I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were nothing to me because you were everything. You _are_ everything, and I’m sorry I didn’t act like it.” Catra is silent, face blank, so Adora presses on. “There’s - God, it’s like I know why I did things the way I did, in my head but...but I can’t put it into words – I can’t form the sentences, there’s nothing I can say to change what happened between us. At the time, it just felt like the right thing to do and I….” She trails off, not knowing what to say next without starting a fight, because she stands by what she did, knows Catra could have followed her, but she also knows it’s not that simple. Nothing was.

 

 

    Beside her, Catra sucks in a deep breath. “I wanted to die when you left me,” she admits, knees hugged to her chest and eyes downcast, “But now I’m glad you did.”

 

    Something in Adora breaks at that – At the thought of Catra being better off without her, the realization that no matter what they’d been through or what they meant to each other, Catra didn’t _need_ her. Could get along just fine without her. Thrive, even.

 

    “I had to learn who I was outside of you,” Catra continues, uncharacteristically quiet, “I had to learn to be my own person.”

 

    “You’ve always been your own person,” says Adora, sharper than she’d intended. It’s instinct to be protective of Catra, even now, after they’ve spent so long at each others throats.

 

    Catra laughs, a bitter sound, shaking her head. “No, I wasn’t. I was always in your shadow.” There’s a brief pause, her head lifting, gaze settling on the stars twinkling overhead. “Plants can’t grow if they’re always in the shade,” she says, thoughtful.

 

    “That’s deep,” Adora mumbles, at a loss for what to say.

 

    Catra snorts, “I got it from Entrapta”, her eyes soft and fond when she finally turns to look at Adora, her grin cheeky but strained.

 

    Adora wants to laugh and say _‘that explains it’_ , wants to say something witty to lighten the mood. She wants to apologize for breaking a promise she couldn’t remember making, wants to tell Catra she’s sorry she couldn’t protect her from Shadow Weaver.

 

    Somehow, none of it seems like the right thing to say.

 

    “Do you think we’ll ever go back to how we used to be?” she says instead, hopeful and desperate.

 

    Catra presses her lips together, brows furrowed. “I don’t know if we can.”

 

    Adora swallows, eyes burning with the start of tears. “Can we _try_?”

 

    “…….I want to,” Catra admits after an excruciating long stretch of silence, “Do _you_ want to?”

 

    “Yes,” Adora blurts out before Catra’s even finished the question, “God, yes.”

 

    The softest smile Adora’s ever seen spreads across Catra’s face.

 

    “Then let’s try.”


End file.
